My weight....

My weight has almost always been a problem, but most of the time I ignored it. Not hard to do when always told "Oh, you're just big boned!" (I love my family, with all my heart - but I think this was the worst thing to say.. because I believed it, for a very long time) In 2003 I had a "wake-up call" and started losing weight.  What choice did I have??? I was about 290lbs.  Over the course of 2 years I lost enough weight to start weighing in at 125lb! At 125 though I was too skinny, so when I hit 145 I was happy. 

Then, I got pregnant with my youngest, my last baby ever.  I gained a lot of weight, right from the very beginning.  I was "showing" by 8 weeks - everyone thought I was having twins with how big I got.  The day I was induced I weighed 203lbs.  I cried when the scale went over that 200lb mark.  I knew it was going to be a long road ahead, again.  But, I didn't let myself diet.  I thought breastfeeding my daughter would take the weight off.  Instead, I gained even more weight.  Up to 226lbs.  I finally made some changes - though not many - to my habits.  Brought myself down to 195.  I was feeling great, I was making progress. I was fitting in some jeans I never would have thought I would again... But then, eating habits and portions got out of control again...

I ignored the obvious, I don't own a full length mirror - so that makes it even easier to ignore.  Except when the once favorite jeans aren't so comfy anymore because they're too tight.  I know a couple times with other jeans I've said "hmm must have shrunk in the dryer"... believable to an extent because they are that stretchy denim.  But, with my regular jeans? Yeah, couldn't deny it any longer.  Also couldn't deny the fact that I couldn't breathe after going up 2 flights of stairs.  Both those things happened yesterday.  After that, I went to the store and bought better foods for me to eat.  With full intentions of losing all this extra weight - even though I didn't know what I weighed.  See, I don't even have a regular scale.  For the last couple years or so the only way I'd weigh myself was with the WiiFit. And with 3 kids I rarely found time for myself to be on the Wii.

Today, my youngest made it impossible for me to spend time on the Wii, until she went down for her nap.  She slept for about 20 minutes but that was enough time to do a body test and some hula-hooping and the stepping arobics. 

I'm at 200lbs again... and since finding out the actual amount, I've been depressed.  Nothing like seeing that number again and just want to curl up in a ball.  Though I may be feeling like crap right now because of my weight, it should also be a motivator for me to get busy and change myself.  Because nobody else can change me.  I brought this on myself, and I have to do this, myself.  I just hope I have the support I had before.  Because for some reason, this time its more intimidating.  Its less weight to lose, with my goal being around 140lbs at the end of this all... but I can say I'm afraid I'll fail, and I'll revert to bad eating habits.

Today I consumed (things with calories and carbs not couting my diet soda - since it has neither lol) a cup of coffee (with cream and sugar), 2 large salads, half a cantalope, a 90calorie Fiber One snack bar, and drank a 250 cal. Boost drink.  I'm a big eater/snacker usually, so I'm trying to change that.  I think the hardest things for me to cut back on will be the coffee (usually I drink about half a pot a day), and pasta.  I love both of those things, and consume way too much of them.  So, I'll be working on learning portion control!

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Bravada Nursing Bra Give-Away!

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First blog!

I'm not entirely sure yet, where I'm going with this blog.... however I've been meaning to set one up for quite some time now.

Possibly some freebies, some reviews, some posts about life as a mother to 3, some of everything I suppose!

Hope I can remember to keep up with this!!